Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
