your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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