Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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