i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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