How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Randomize
