OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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