its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
