Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
