If i come over, it means nothing
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
