he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
