Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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