i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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