smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
