she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
