I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
