Where is the hickey?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
