I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
