I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize