Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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