Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
