question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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