Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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