i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
