You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
