Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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