If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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