oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
