Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
