If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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