Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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