they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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