wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
