No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
