maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
