just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
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