She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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