Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
