Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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