The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
