he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
