what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
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I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
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It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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