Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
