what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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