is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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