Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
