and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
