I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
As shirtless as possible
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
