Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
