The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Randomize
