i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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