I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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