So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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