I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
