that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
