He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
