ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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