found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
