Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize