Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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