i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Ladies don't puke and tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He did a backflip because drugs
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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