'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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