so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
