i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
