discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So apparently I’m into choking now
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
