dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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