he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
