nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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