apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
