The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
