When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
