"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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