Soap is not a condiment
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize