we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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