Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Randomize